I’m officially stage 4. Yes, just a number, but admittedly a scary one. Oncology Doc called today with that bit of news, though it was expected. We talked over my chemo plan; I’ll start on March 24th, two days after port install. Will be a two part cocktail, one delivered at the chemo center, then a wearable infusion pump that goes home with me and runs for another two days. Skip a week, then rinse and repeat. Can’t remember if he said for six weeks or six times; doesn’t matter I’m all in.
Judy and I visited school district headquarters today and filed paperwork generously granting her the rest of the year off (starting last Monday) to be my caregiver. Those six months of sick days she thought would be left on the table at retirement look like a beautiful blessing today. The angel benefits adviser gave me a chemo swag bag too, pillow, teddy bear, blanket, gloves and more. Finally, we stopped by school to pick up some of Judy’s personal stuff and were surrounded by the love and concern of her staff mates who have had her back since before we knew what was wrong with me.
Mark, Todd and I are so concerned. Our prayers will be with you.
Mark, I wanted to share some of my reactions to your news. I realize we have been apart the majority of our lives. Formative times. high school, college/ trade school, romance, marriage, adulthood, family, career, old guyhood.
All that time apart, you were never that far away from me. I never really realized it till I saw that confirmation picture. Just how deep you are embedded in my psyche. You may have been one of my first best friends. I can’t recall many earlier than you. Weird to me now. So I have no expectations that you had any similar connection. You had a brother, I never had one. Oh I have some now, but not by blood. This feels very rambling but I know only this way of writing it. So here’s the evidence of your influence on me (which you may be totally unaware of).
I remember you from church of course when church meant something to me. Every Sunday school, every Christmas play, summer camp, and acolyte stuff, you are there. Every Cub Scout meeting in you basement. ( I was so jealous of that basement, I thought your family was rich) Every time we played in the back yard of the parsonage, at that amazing creek in your back yard! I thought you were the luckiest kid in the world! What a magic time in my life! And I remember when I would come over to play, all I wanted to do was get at that creek in your backyard. Lucky dog! And you’d want to “play” on some project or some damn thing! But there’s a creek right there in the backyard, but you were so jazzed to wire together some flashlight on a stick or something! Did I mention there was creek in the back? Right there.
But sometime there you, Mark Dahl, turned my head.
Not an easy thing to do. Regardless you introduced me to what we now call technology. Maybe it was an erector set, a transistor radio ( that looks like spudnic on my memory) clipped to the heating vent listen to static and being amazed. Though our path together was interrupted very young in the whole scope of things, you left a mark on me, no pun intended.
Now we’ve both gone down different paths in this life, I still feel very connected to you.
We no longer know one another, but once we were brothers! In a three figured salute, in a stance piously holding trays of Jesus blood, we in long white robes, or Cub Scout uniforms, are brothers!
Now, I’m an arrogant man, and consider myself smart, damn smart actually! Few people I’ve every met, let alone only knew from when I was from 4 until 12, do I consider to be smarter than me! I know, I admitted my ego earlier, remember?
You my long ago friend were always smarter than me.
Unquestionably.
I don’t know what words to write, hearing of your cancer. I could tell you that it’s been a shit day for me after hearing your news, devastating is way short. I went and sat in my shop and sobbed, it seemed appropriate.
I’ve reached out to my circle of friends feeling pitiful. Lucky for me, and I hope for you, I’ve been blessed with some dear and vital friends. My heart is just shattered about your news.
I have so much more to share, but I can’t right now.
I love you, Man. And my God bless you and yours.
Alpha and omega…
Van
Dear Mark and Judy,
So sorry to hear this news. Ever since Doug told me you have been in my/our prayers. May God be close to you both during this time of intense trial…. The creator, healer is our God!